This is the excerpt version of the blog post in Japanese: “内向的な人にとってのMBA体験談 part 2“
4. How did you work on the difficulties throughout the year? Please include any insights you gained.
B: My most important takeaway is that it is not easy to change my introverted personality, and I don’t have to change it. As I mentioned in the previous post, introverts account for nearly half of our MBA cohort. Some classmates who appear to be extroverts told me that they consider themselves introverts and consciously make an effort to talk to people. I think many of my classmates naturally accept my introversion as one of my personal qualities and understand my strengths and weaknesses.
A: For me, the self-awareness that I am an introvert is my most important takeaway. When I started thinking about this blog post, I looked back at my MBA application essay and the self-introductory paper I made for a class in the first semester. Interestingly, I did not once use the word “introvert” and instead wrote about how I am a good team player. Of course, I did know I was an introvert, but I avoided admitting or disclosing this fact because I assumed MBA programmes valued extroverted, sociable, and outgoing people.
Now, after one year, I understand and accept that I cannot behave like extroverts, and I control how often I attend and how long I stay at large social events in the same way a driver would pay attention to how much petrol is left in the tank when driving. Actually, it’s not so hard to act sociably in short spurts.
B: The important thing is finding my own best way of interacting with others. I still think it is important to get out of my comfort zone and stretch myself, but at the same time, I realise it is also crucial to shift my approach to a more realistic one when I get into a slump. Sticking to something to which you are not suited can be incredibly painful and who knows, a different approach could yield better results. Even though I was not able to stand out in large groups, I was able to gradually make friends through one-on-one and small group interactions.
A: I totally agree because I was obsessed with the idea that I should get out of my comfort zone. I’m so happy that I was able to make many lovely friends, and I am especially grateful to those who pushed through the awkwardness and continued to be friendly with me even after multiple non-smooth interactions.
Another important thing for me is that my career role model has changed. Before coming to Cambridge, I looked up to extroverted and assertive people. My boss at my previous job was a perfect example of such a person, and I therefore respected him deeply and aspired to be like him. I now realise, however, that it is impossible for me to behave as he did and to become truly extroverted. On the other hand, the MBA has connected me with introverted classmates who have courageously carved out their careers with conviction. Now, I see these classmates, whom I respect and feel empathy with, as good role models for my career.
1) Social events
A: In short, if you are not good at standing out at a large party, you do not necessarily have to work hard to perform well there. In fact, from my observations, the proportion of MBA students with outstanding social skills that allow them to go around all the tables and sell themselves without hesitation is less than 10%. Most of classmates, including extroverts, seemed to form groups with people they already knew or had close backgrounds with, and they spent a lot of time with them.
B: Actually, even at parties, it is not very common for MBA students to act like party animals. So, realistically, a good strategy is to talk to people who, like you, seem to be struggling to participate in conversations. If both of you are relatively quiet and seem like introverts, there is the added bonus that you don’t have to force yourself to talk and can comfortably enjoy the occasional period of silence.
It is also a good idea to choose a place that is relatively easy for you to go to. I checked the number of participants, members, and themes beforehand and attended parties where I thought, “this might be okay”.
A: Also, if possible, organising events by setting up an environment where you’re your best self is a great idea. Because I can play a musical instrument, I regularly organised casual mini-concerts for five or six people. These events allowed me to gradually meet more and more new classmates and make new friends. At first, I was nervous about sending out invitations, wondering if people had an interest in musical instruments and if I was skilled enough to play in front of people. But after reaching out, my MBA classmates were incredibly responsive and enthusiastic about joining such events. Also, they helped trigger a positive chain reaction by spreading videos on Instagram. After becoming known as a music player, new people also talked to me about the videos and asked me to invite them to the next concert. As it was clear that they were interested in me, I didn’t feel the pressure to impress them with cool stories, a pressure I usually feel when I meet strangers. In this way, hosting music concerts gave me many entry points to talk with new classmates.
Setting one-on-one coffee chats would provide great opportunities if you want to talk about some serious topics deeply but are hesitant to start those topics in parties and large group gatherings. It requires courage to reach out to others, and I’m embarrassed to confess I have just started recently, around the end of Easter term. Because I’m still afraid of running out of topics, I need some preparation, such as making a topics list and searching a person’s background. Nevertheless, these chats are very fulfilling since I can ask what I was wondering about and sometimes get unexpected feedback.
B: In my case, formal dinner provided me with a breakthrough. Since I belong to a college with only a handful of MBA students, many classmates were interested in formal dinners at my college. For me, inviting someone to a formal dinner was much easier than asking them out for a coffee. By inviting one or two different classmates every week and talking about various topics in small groups, we often found some unexpected common ground which birthed the next topic to talk about further. Also, once I invited people, they typically invited me to their college’s formal dinners or other events in return. This virtuous cycle of one social event leading to another gave me many opportunities to meet new people and deepen existing friendships.
A: Furthermore, a more sociable person around you would connect you with lots of new people. In my case, a friend who lived in the same accommodation was talented at getting along with both extroverts and introverts, and he introduced me to many new people by hosting dinners and parties. I deeply appreciate him for always introducing me to the other people at the party and for providing the ice breaker, such as the episode of my music performance, that would lead to fulfilling social interactions. I have made most of my friends through him.
B: As I got more friends with whom I could talk about anything, I gradually started enjoying parties. The May Ball, held in June, was an all-night party held on the College grounds and was, of all of the social events during the year, the most likely to overwhelm my introverted self. However, in reality, I enjoyed my time at the May Ball with many lovely friends and felt sad to leave the party in the morning. Although enjoying a party seems to be a small thing for many people, the May Ball was one of my highlights of the year at Cambridge. I felt a sense of accomplishment: I could now enjoy such an event and might have changed a bit.
2) Lectures and group work
B: After several mistakes borne of my introversion, I tried to become more open with my teammates. I honestly said that I was an introvert who tended to hesitate to speak up, and I was not always able to keep up with or fully understand conversations held in English. After that, my teammates tried harder to involve me in meetings, asking for my opinion and periodically checking whether I was keeping up with the discussion.
As a way to repay my teammates’ kindness, for the Global Consulting Project, I undertook the role of client liaison.
A: I also took on the role of liaison. During the project, various coordination issues arose between the team and the client, ranging from schedule management to the reconciliation of the project direction. It was worth trying because my teammates seemed to appreciate me taking on what was at times tedious work and for reliably completing the required tasks.
More importantly, I think introverts have some traits that are valued in group settings. In group work, I was often considered a “deep thinker.” Although from my point of view I was just doing tasks as I had done them at my previous job, here at Cambridge MBA, my tendency towards producing arguments with sound logic and starting sophisticated data-based discussions was seen as unique and valuable. Instead of offering up many new ideas at meetings, I would generate just a few of deeply reasoned ideas that only I, because of my introversion, could produce.
Once I established a position as a deep thinker, I became less nervous about group work. I gained confidence because my teammates recognised the value of my output. This allowed me to then assert my opinions more strongly when I felt I had to change the course of a discussion because I knew my “deep” words would be taken seriously.
B: In my case, “steady implementation” may have been my unique value as an introvert. Although I did speak less than others during meetings, I was good at clearing up unfinished discussions and diligently executing necessary steps to finalise the project after meetings. I think having a person there to get discussions back on track tended to have positive effects on the team.
A: I think us introverts tend to become jealous of teammates who speak up proactively at meetings and lead discussions. On the other hand, I think extroverts also realise the value introverts bring to the table like in the situations discussed above. Of course, knowing both when to speak up and when to speak carefully is ideal, but I think there were few people on the MBA who could play both roles well. Considering the length and the unique environment of the MBA, I think it’s “okay” to focus and just do one or the other well.
B: Furthermore, because of human nature, I think it’s difficult to dislike someone who works hard for the team just because they are a bit awkward. So, if you try to identify what you can do and show a willingness to contribute, there will always be people to help you, and even introverts can have meaningful group work experiences.
3) Other Situations
B: The most important thing to understand is that people usually don’t discuss things so seriously during a coffee break or over lunch. Most of the conversations people have in such situations can be best described as small talk. After a few months of observation, I finally realised that the topics of conversation are quite limited when people don’t know each other well. The typical questions people ask are related to classes on the MBA and careers like, “How is your project going?”, “What will you take for electives next semester?”, and “Have you started applying for jobs?” For casual topics, people usually ask questions like, “How did you spend your weekend? Do you have travel plans for the holidays?” or “How many colleges in Cambridge have you visited? Which one did you like the most?” I think it is a good idea, therefore, to make a note of the topics your classmates tend to talk about, and ask similar questions to other people when you are in similar situations.
A: Even if able to come up with these typical topics, introverts, I think, may hesitate to ask these questions, wondering, “Is this a topic of interest for him/her?” My conclusion is you should not worry about it. At least on the Cambridge MBA it is rare to get an unfavourable response like, “Why are you asking me that?” Rather, many people try to answer questions sincerely and find ways to expand a conversation. Even on the MBA, there are not that many people that can always enliven a conversation with interesting and entertaining stories. So, you don’t have to give yourself a hard time when you find it difficult to have a lively conversation with new people.
5. For people who are thinking about an MBA
B: An MBA provides fruitful experiences both for extroverts and introverts, so I recommend taking the chance and applying if it fits your purpose. I especially recommend the Cambridge MBA because people are mature and keen to learn from others through collaboration.
A: I was always impressed by my classmates who tried to look for the positive aspects and competitive advantages of others, rather than focusing on their negative aspects. Also, as I mentioned earlier, in my case, music helped me interact with people. If you are coming to the MBA, actively sharing a hobby or something you are interested in with people is a good way to get along with your classmates. It can be anything like musical instruments, cooking, golf, etc., and it’s okay even if you’re just a beginner!
B: Cambridge is a small community, and most classmates live within walking distance of each other. It is an easy place in which to stop by and show your face briefly at an event or have a chat at a café or a pub, and is therefore a great environment to start networking gradually for introverts. I also like the college system and appreciate formal dinners, which are designed to encourage students to interact. In the MBA programme, there are many group work opportunities, including the CVP and GCP. Introverts may struggle at first, but I think most will reflect on the projects as good learning experiences.
Thank you for reading all the way to the end! The aim of this article is to share the lived experiences of two introverted MBA students honestly, so some of you are surprised by the inclusion of gloomy episodes. Despite the difficult times, the authors do not regret undertaking the Cambridge MBA. Not at all! Though we went through some painful times, those were outweighed by the many enjoyable and delightful experiences. We hope this article will be helpful to those of you who are considering an MBA in the future.
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